So, Eden wears glasses. She’s already broken two pairs and
lost a third. She’s really bad at this. She’s three, but still. She always
knows exactly where her Peppa Pig dress is, and she doesn’t even wear that
thing every day (despite pleadings and tantrums…if it has dried on ketchup on
it, I’m sorry, kid. You’re not going out in public smelling like rotten
tomatoes and high fructose corn syrup). I’m not asking for much. I’m just asking
her to keep track of the crap that keeps her from being blind.
Eden lost the ones I had just had repaired the other day,
and I tore the house apart looking for those things. I even looked in drawers
that were locked! I said if we couldn’t find them in 24 hours we’d have to get
her new ones. I was on the verge of tears stressing out about it, so I gave in
and had her pick out a new pair after school the following day. Eden picked out
a cute little pair with Hello Kitty on the sides that were basically the same color
as her missing ones. Whatever, at least she wouldn’t miss her old ones, right?
And she wouldn’t lose ones with Hello Kitty on them, right?
Okay. Within the hour that we were home from picking out her
HK frames, Eden came skipping in from another room with her glasses in her hands. My jaw dropped so far to the floor
that she stopped skipping and froze like I was the t-rex on Jurassic Park and
couldn’t see her if she didn’t move. I asked her where she found her glasses
and she refused to tell me.
That little player friggin’ hid her glasses so that I would
buy her some with Hello Kitty on them. She is an evil genius. An expensive evil genius. Is there some
kind of Flintstone vitamin for this? She would seriously be an amazing con
artist. Or real estate agent.
